The business of making children is complex. The business of having children is extraordinarily more byzantine. The business of not having children is a different matter altogether. And the business of not (yet) having children, if you’re an endometriosis sufferer, potentially a source of such omnipresent and all-pervasive misery, despair, bitterness, despondency and torment that its essence cannot be expressed in words. It’s strange how life works out. One day you’re living your life relatively happy, whatever happiness is, the next your doctor is breaking the news that you have a disease that affects your fertility. Now the painful periods make sense, so you feel reassured on some level, but on a different level a new kind of worry also enters your brain. Will endometriosis affect my ability to have children? Will endometriosis affect my fertility? You freak out. You become desperate. All you can focus on is your childlessness, or inability to have more children, or other people having children. You lose your ability to connect with others as you become increasingly single-mindedly focused on that one aspect of your existence.
On the 28th March 2015, many brave souls across the world, dressed in fifty shades of yellow and pink, some with funky braids and ribbons in their hair, some with pink knickers over their trousers, and some in armoury, but all with a smile on their face, did just that. They did it to raise awareness of a disease that is silent. A disease that people don’t want to hear about. A disease that makes even those suffering from it often feel too embarrassed to break that silence and speak out.
My brain is frazzled. Regularly. And most of the time, there seems to be no solution. So I stew. I stew when I should be working. I stew when I’m out with friends. I stew when I should be sleeping. So I don’t sleep. I don’t do anything properly. I’m not mindful of anything. I... Continue Reading →
The business of making plans by an endometriosis sufferer is likely to be fraught with many potential pitfalls. The timing of your period, the need for frequent loo breaks, the likelihood of pain, tiredness, and inability to carry your own luggage, all need to be taken into account. But it is possible to plan and it is possible to find the window of opportunity. Here’s to life at it’s best, whatever that is.
Let me show you how project management techniques can help the chronically ill achieve more. Let me show you how by imitating professional project managers, you can and will successfully overcome the daily tests and trials that living with a debilitating chronic disease so often entails. What is your story? What have you achieved despite your crippling disease. How did you overcome the challenges of living with a long-term health condition? How did you interact with others to get them help you? What motivated you to keep going even though every fibre in your body was telling you to give up?
“Don’t worry.” Oh, ok then. Ta Da. I didn’t realise it was this easy. All I have to do is not to worry. Bingo. I’ve got it. That’s it. Eureka. My life’s totally perfect now. Thanks for your help. “Just stop worrying. It’s not helping.” So whilst you’re at it, tell me precisely how and... Continue Reading →
There is no reason why ill people should feel guilty. There is no reason why endometriosis sufferers should feel guilty but they do. Do you? I know I do. There five key reasons why this is happening. Only by understanding the reasons why endometriosis victims feel guilty, can we start facing up to our nemesis and embark on a route to a more positive state of mind.
“Well, it’s not cancer.” I’m lying down on a hospital bed following my second operation, my mind still slightly groggy after the general anaesthetic, the body only just starting to register the pain that the morphine has blocked so efficiently until now. I’m getting snippets of the conversation that is taking place over my head.... Continue Reading →
Men don’t get hot flushes. Men don’t have ovaries. Men don’t have a clue. I’m sorry to be mean to those of the other sex, but it is so. Ms K, and I are sitting in her living room, chatting, doing non-energetic stitch work. Her method of choice is cross-stitch, I embroider. We’re discussing how... Continue Reading →