Lying naked on the bed, covered only by a thin sheet, I wonder if I’ve lived enough. I’m in a small room. It’s cold. It’s so cold that I shiver under that scanty layer of difference between decency and exposure. The blue, low light creates surprisingly few shadows and everything feels flat and muted. I can hear voices across the wall. They sound loud, but however hard I strain, I can’t distinguish a single word.
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I can’t believe what I’m doing. I really can’t. There’s a part of me that is completely and utterly freaking out. All I want to do is to get out of this situation. Right now. But I also know that I need to do this. “That’s right”, coos the nurse to me. We’re in a... Continue Reading →
I’m writing my blog at home. It’s an isolated activity. I don't know what reading my blog looks like from YOUR point of view. Is it useful? Is it helping? Are your experiences similar to mine? Getting feedback is all about understanding that. So I’m very pleased that my blog Surviving Endometriosis was selected by... Continue Reading →
Ah, that old friend of mine. It’s with me when I’m feeling great, and when I’m feeling low. It’s with me when I’m at home, and when I’m at work; when I’m with friends and when I’m alone. It’s my constant companion. THE PAIN. ENDO-PAIN. Let’s talk about endo-pain: the chronic pain associated with endometriosis.... Continue Reading →
“Oh no!” I’m bawling, “I sat by the fire for five minutes. I just didn’t think.” “You did what? I don’t understand. Calm down and tell me what happened.” “Bwaaaaaaaa, I sat bwa bwa bwa by the fire.” He’s looking at me puzzled. I’m now at a fully blown crying fit. You see, seven days... Continue Reading →
Do you have endometriosis? Do you have endo-fatigue? Let’s run a little test: Are you exhausted right now? Do you frequently wake up tired after a ‘good night’s sleep’? Do you frequently feel you have no ‘spare’ energy despite resting a lot? Did you say yes to at least one of the questions? Let me... Continue Reading →
“Yes, here it is. Yes, it does look like a dermoid cyst.”
I emerge from behind the screen. I must be looking a bit worried, because she reassures me keenly that “they’re not that uncommon”, “it’s nothing to worry about really”, and I should “google it”.
Back home, I’m on my iPad googling.
Wikipedia – because let’s be properly scientific about this – informs me that a dermoid cyst is a teratoma of a cystic nature that contains an array of developmentally mature, solid tissues.
A solid cyst? Ok. Doesn’t sound that bad. It’s a what? A teratoma? I google that.
I’m in a small room whose walls are covered with notices about hygiene; in the corner, there are two bins, one black and yellow, also plastered with notices. Next to the bed I’m splayed on, there is a machine with a monitor. Another monitor hangs from the ceiling in front of me. “I’ll take you... Continue Reading →